Merchandise
J & K Co. are proud to offer an extensive range of bespoke products conjured to order regardless of availability (Meals Extra). Service charge @ 10% optional during National General Pilsudski Parade Days. J & K Co. are qualified Specialist Overdue Jerque Note negotiators and Lazaretto supervision charge monitors at below standard Barratry rates. Caveat Temptor and Cessor Clauses apply for all own label merchandise.
Specialising in Cross Packaging, Brand Camouflage and Product Replication, Janczyk & Karnicki Co. developed a formula for the production of bespoke merchandise from waste. The J & K Partnership sponsored the Rangoon Grand Prix of Reconditioning (aka The Rangoon Games) whose spectacular opening ceremony at nightfall began with ground-to-air displays of reconditioning techniques.
Known as Award winning Reconditioners of denatured Irrawaddi Fishmeal Derivate, Rectified Sump Oil and Panama “Playboy” Hats, Janczyk & Karnicki Co. were Accredited Importers of Permitted Iron Filings and Suppliers of Canned Flies to members of Krakow Bourse.
Products
ZEEZ FLIES
GUARANTEE
All the contents of this excelsior product have been individually selected, sorted and reconditioned in strict compliance with the highest international standards.
”They’re O.K. by me.” Rip Yergenes
ZEEZ FLIES As Canned as The Crow Flies
EDMUND 1757 BURKE’S ORIGINAL FORMULA
The SAUCE of the SUBLIME
“Whatsoever is fitted in any sort to excite the ideas of pain and danger, that is to say whatsoever is in any sort terrible is a source of the sublime.” Edmund Burke Inquiry into the Origins of the Sublime 1757
None Genuine without this Mark
IT GIVES YOU THE CREEPS
A lightly spiced traditional sauce reconditioned to Edmund Burke’s recipe from a blend of ballast, soil and sedimented derivatives. An excellent accompaniment to a wide variety of savoury and unsavoury situations.
INGREDIENTS: Best Dijon style Flies, Sodium of Danzig Sump Oil, Permitted Iron Filings.
Stores
“Oh buy the corned beef if you must. The pickled herring you can trust. But that big hunk of liverwurst has been there since October 1st and today is the twenty third of May.”
“Veni Vidi Zloty!”
